Not long ’till it’s Christmas, I better tell you muva’lovers what I want!
I have been really fucking good this year. I haven’t started any riots, blown anything up or ended up in a coma. So, it’s time to pay up, you fat turd. Below you will see my
demands Christmas list, don’t be a stingy bastard.
- A tank
- A cowboy hat
- A flare gun
- A super soaker
- A vuvuzela
- Two tickets to see The Cure in the Isle of Wight, plus parking for my tank.
- New tattoos when I forget how much the last one hurt.
- A real life R2D2
Or, just the tank. I figure, you can do what the fuck you want if you have a tank, so if you get me a tank I’ll get the rest. Oh, and stop letting your reindeer shit all over my garden, that’s a £50 fine, that is.